thoughts after three months.

In some ways it feels like a flash and then I sit back and try to remember life without them and I almost can't. It was quieter and easier but this life is sweeter and more hilarious and much less about myself, which is always a good thing.

Twins are a miraculous gift. You can't look at them and doubt God. I love that my twins are so different. James has looked like a cute old man since day 1 and Ellen's chipmunk cheeks are making my chunky baby dreams come true. Their personalities are already opposite. James is very relaxed, can just sit by himself for over an hour...unless he has gas and then it's just over. Ellen is a people person. If she can see you she is smiley and content but if she is alone for too long an almost bird like shriek ensues. That drama stops at 9pm as she has slept through the night-like really through the night-since 2 weeks old and I still have to wake her daily for their 6 am feeding so they stay on the same schedule.

Schedules...so important....but also sometimes to be thrown out the window. I keep them mostly on the exact feeding/napping schedule but on days when one seems to just need something extra (more nursing, comfort, sleep) I adjust. Those days can be sweet because it allows me alone time with one baby, so rare. Hardest part of twins for me is the little time I have to just hold them and rock them. So if you have one baby do that a little more today, for me, okay?? God is slowly teaching me to let loose of perfection, routine and plans and just enjoy the moment. I have been able (the majority of the time) to just laugh at the craziness. It can be crazzzzy. 130 pm and 830 pm are probable the wildest hours but then 2pm and 9 pm...what sweet and silent hours you are!!! All of them sleeping and lots of ice cream being consumed.

Exclusively breast feeding two babes is work. Not as much the actual nursing/pumping part but the eating part. I eat all. Day. Long. Sounds fun and at times it is but it can also be quite daunting. I just honestly can't think of any more ideas for a snack. And I miss feeling full. Lots of cold chicken at 10 am. And lots and lots of ice cream.

God has given this little family SO MUCH grace. We love this season but He is the ONLY reason we are thriving. Ellen and James are the most perfect gifts from heaven, Reagan is adjusting well and we are humbled and grateful. Thank you for praying for us and being excited for us. That's one of the sweetest parts of having twins, the ability to bless others with their amazingness.